I Apologize

I am sorry that I did not attend the Spiritual Gifts Seminar. Really sorry.

This week has been a roller coaster ride. Winning the National semi-final. Being first in my class's boys for 2.4 run. These things are great but they were from God. You may think that I thanking God means I am running smoothly but I feel that I am not. I have heard about the death of my neighbour's father and he was a muslim. I am blaming myself. Why did I not invite them. How could I have just looked at them and not do anything.

Why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where has my passion and love for the lost gone too!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where is the discipline that I once had???!!!

I am fearful, I had "so called" taken a lot of responsibility. Have have my calling to fulfil. I have a job to do, I have to be strengthen. I have now a lot of commitment. I have my difficulties. The devil is indeed attacking me. I believe he is trying to make me tried physically which he has done. Now I have a battle in my mind which I must win. I need to be strong. I need to retreat and seek direction from God. I need God to give me rest. I must be strong. My faith needs strengthening. It must stand firm on the Word for my eternal salvation. I am going under trails and I really need your prayers.

I remembered once Jun Hoong said when someone takes a lot of responsibility, he needs to retreat and seek direction from God and since my cell leader has not been coming for D.I for 2 weeks, the "so called" senoirs had to step up so I kind of step up. And so I "so called" retreated this morning. I was reading my bible and of course, I was reading the New Testiment. But I could not understand what was the true meaning behind the verses. I am confuse. I need to see the light. I have sin, I need to repent. I need to do a lot of things and today. I have seen tha tI need to go back to the basics. My basics are not exactly super firm. I need to sort out some stuff within myself.

I had to fight within myself to decide if I was going and I felt that I might as well not go since I had a feeling I was not going to learn so I decided to pull out of it at the last minute. So I am really sorry :(

I must be strong in God. I must not fear the things that I will faced, I must not fear the uphill task I am to do as I have the almighty God.

Erm....... so my prayer requests are:

- That I may stand firm in the Word.

- I do not fear the task I have to compete.

- That my burden for the lost return to me.

- That the wounds that I have gotten be healed.

- That I may see the light once more.

- That I will return to become the me that I once knew. The cheerful me that would bring joy :)

- That my physical wounds also be healed such as my spraine ankle which just gave way straight after I wake up from my sleep.

- I also need the grace of God, I need to be more forgiving

And that should be all forks, pray for me and.................................

I AM REALLY VERY VERY SORRY FOR NOT TURNING UP TODAY :(