Today, I am going to tell you something through a imaginary chat...
Q: Hey bro, how are you??
M: Confused lah.. Like totally!!!
Q: Why confused?
M: Well, I am out for 6 weeks!!!
Q: Oh, what happened??
M: Well, I went for my medical checkup and the doc said I need to rest my knees. So I am out for 6 weeks lah!!
Q: Erm.. Ouch, but thats does not explain how you are confused?
M: Hm.. Coz IDK what to feel, so lets have a heart to heart talk then...
Well, I feel like Voldermort right now! (Nope, I have a nose still!!) I feel like Voldermort, because just like he splits his soul and put them into different objects. My life is almost the same as him. I split myself into so many different things..
Remember the "Deathly Hallows", where once each object he put his soul was destroyed, he loses a part of himself. Well, I feel like that right now. Now, I am out of action for 6 weeks. It feel like I have lost a part of myself!! I have lost the soccer pie, and some of my social life pie... So my pie feels like this:
This is a pie that is not complete, its not a whole pie.
Well, I feel so handicapped right now!! Well, I can't even go out for a jog, I can't play soccer, I can't even kick a ball!! OMG!! I feel so worthless at times, since we all know that soccer is perhaps the thing I am good in, and now that I have lost it, I feel that way!!!
In addition to that, I am having my holidays. So I am pretty free right now. Yes, I am but I need to use this time to complete all my homework!! But because I got so much free time, the thought of me being out for 6 weeks constantly fills my brain and I get "emo-nemo". I have not been going out of my house, because I should be doing my homework, so getting locked up in your own house really sucks especially when the only thing you do is "study". Studying has failed to distract me from this awful fact, so I really am facing waves of negative thoughts, or maybe just that one thought many times, and it really is a struggle!!
I tell myself not to get give in to these negative thoughts, and all but frankly speaking, its really very hard!!
I am also so hyperactive, the inability to do running all all those activities are killing me! I feel like I am a prisoner in chains!! I really want to so something but what can I do?! Playing PS3? Seriously, you must be joking?! Its a bore pwning those noobs aka com! I really can't take it!! And its only day 4 into my 42 days!! I feel like dying!!! Someone save me!!!
ARGH!!!!!! IT LIKE I AM CRYING OUT FOR HELP AND ALL!!!! But there nothing much one can do can they?
Hm.. I did not plan to blog about the 4 days and 3 nights of LOL camp. Because my blogging style is telling you the sequence of events kind. So if I did, I will kill myself sia!! So at least reflection of what LOL is to me??
Hm... LOL camp personally to me was something very different from the norm. Usually as eaglets, I would have expected to be involved in the planning, then during the camp, I would be the group leader, then perhaps involved in the running of the camp just like "Inside Out" where I was part of the logistic crew, the worship team, and also a group leader.
So the norm is that we will either be busy or over-stretched, but this camp, it was DIFFERENT. For the first time, I was not involved in anything!! Really!! It felt so weird. The ability to spend time with the Rhema boys was such a different feeling. Sitting down and having a meal as a group has been rare for me in the previous camp due to worship practice but this camp, I could sit down with them for every meal!! It felt weird, but a good weird. It took me awhile to realize that I need not do anything, and just be camper for LOL!! I also had to stop myself from getting myself involved, it was really weird, but it was a good weird to be a camper again just like when I first attend my first youth camp, "Ultimate Experience".
I won't say I fully enjoyed the camp because sometimes things happen which you can't control and it disallows you to fully participate in the camp. Well, that "thing" hindered my overall enjoyment but let me not the party spoiler.
I feel that LOL gave me something more then other camps did, it allowed me to see God move in the lives of the Rhema warriors!! I saw God move in the Rhema boys lives, I saw God touch them and I believe they can testify it too! To see God move in their lives was wonderful, and I believe this camp brought Rhema closer together. I can feel that this new-found unity, be it from trolling people together or whatever, it will help to bring us to new heights!!
So Rhema, I believe that great things are in stored for everyone of us!!
Hm.. As you can tell, this is my Christmas post. Have you ever wondered what does Christmas means to you?
Before today, Christmas was just another day. Honestly speaking, thats the truth. It was another day.. I know its about celebrating and remember that God send his son to Earth onto this Earth. But really, what does Christmas means to you? Truthfully speaking? Is Christmas about Christ to you?
And how did you spend your Christmas today? Was it a memorable one like mine? An enjoyable one, a relaxing one. Or one to forget? Everyone spends Christmas differently, has a different experience from one another. Well, thats a fact. no doubt about it. But is the meaning of Christmas the same for everyone, because I wished Christmas was Christ. May He be the sole reason for Christmas!!
Hm... I think I have over done the questioning parts le.. How about a story?? Nope, I won't be telling you the Christmas story, but my Christmas Testimony!! How does that sound? Great? Haha...
Today, my dad join us for our Christmas service. Well, he does that every Christmas!! Lol! But he does not seem to be engage in it. Well, it seems like he leaves every Christmas service unchanged. But today was different. Ok, stop lying dey. Alright, you win. Things seem to be the same today and I thought maybe and hopefully something will happen lah. Hope hope hope lah.. Never held any expectations..
Well, but God is amazing. He does miracles. Today, during the altar call. I was just watching people go down to the altar. Never expecting the guy next to me to move at all. Well, thank God I had a fail prediction. My dad took a step out. At first, I thought maybe he going toilet. But I decided to tag along. Then after 2 steps, I see him tear. And I was like, "God, it this really happening??" I straight away knew my Dad was going to head to the altar. But he stopped for a while. Hesitated I guess, so I accompanied him. An arm around him, it felt like I was treating my dad as a buddy sia!! Weird moment. But isnt my heavenly father also a buddy to me?
When I was at the altar with my dad. I was weeping. Because it come upon me that my dad was responding to God for the very first time. Or the first time I saw my dad do so!! This was the moment when I saw God answer my prayer! If I said I never prayed for my dad to receive Christ, I gotta be heartless and i would be lying. So when I saw God answered my prayer. When I saw him responding, I was weeping. Well, i walked away from the altar when people were laying hands on my dad. I couldnt take the wave of emotion. I was crying real bad yo. For a guy, its kinda weird.
But who cares if I cry, I was still shedding tears when I return to my seat. But these were not tears of sadness. This was tears of joy!! God answers prayers. For once, I dont need to fear of that nightmare becoming reality. Instead, its wonderful... what a special Christmas this has been for me!! Apart of the gifts, the CHOCOLATES, the people. My dad responding to God was the greatest Christmas gift anyone, and repeat again, anyone could give to me!!
Hey, lets not get carried away by this alright. Yes, I have perhaps gotten a great gift today. But the war has not ended. We know the devil will fight back. So continue to pray for my dad yea!! I dream of seeing him in heaven!! ^^
Here is a great video to watch too... God sent his greatest gift to you today too!! Receive him into your life yo!! ;)
Hi peeps, I really do not know what to blog about this few days.. Well, I have been at LOL camp and it was a blast but I plan to blog it though...
For now, I think I need to rant, about the 3 soccer matches I played for JJC. Why? U will find out soon..
Some background info
Hm.. On 10 dec, JJC played against SAJC..
Well, I like the pitch at SAJC, because it feels like Hong Kah's pitch.. Really enjoyable... Hm.. I have nothing much to rant for this match, because these guys know how to play soccer. And I believe I showed them that I was dangerous, and a threat too.. Haha, yupyup, I managed to obtain a 100% shot-goal percentage. 2 goals out of 2 shots!! Wee.. :D I must really say I enjoyed this match because I dribbled and had fun getting past them so easily. It was like they were toys, I was fooling around with.. Hehe... I love it when people commit thinking they could get the ball from me.. Hehe.. And they did not dished out elbows, kicks nor taunts at me.. :) but we still lost though.. :(
Then on Tuesday, we played against ACS(I).. -.-
This was one match that I must really get off my chest.. After the SAJC match, I was feeling fine. Going to this game in what was pretty fine form, and planning to get the job done... Well, I expected to make a fool out of them until..
Well, I really hate their right-back!! I really want to scold $%&@Y%(@?Y&! at him, because he dished out tackles at me, he used his spikes to maximum effort. How? By piercing them into my leg, smart move right!! Bloody %&*#*, up to this day, the mark is still there... And he made a freaking hole in my only red pants!! Bloody $%&@ , guess what? He did not even apologize!! I wanted to beat like until he couldn't move... Seriously, tackling my legs instead of the ball, elbowing me in the face, making a hole in my pants.. I don't think he was the one who injured my ankle, or was he??
Well, there was also taunting from them, such as good dive, or diver.. and many more.. Even though it was a foul.. Seriously, I was pissed off... but thank God, he was taken off.. If not things really could have been nasty!! Well, but his teammates taunted me.. Well, I got fed up with that too... But i was really restraining myself!! I was really angry, I wanted to go up to the guy, and say, "Eh, you want pick fight ah. Come lah, I not scare you.."
Hm.. The gangster self within me nearly surfaced, and if that happened!! Off I go for an early shower!! Coz I would have punched him even if he was buffer than me!!
Haiz.. I really nearly lost my cool during that match, and I really diverted that anger at them.. By attempting kungfu kicks that look like I am going for the ball, but its actually their face. Small little elbows into their stomach or waist (coz they all bigger sized).. Somehow, I felt possessed. Even when I was tired, my body told me I must beat them!! And I finally scored against them. I scored a goal.. And like my friend tweeted, I showed them who was boss. Scoring a goal with 2 defenders beside you and a goalkeeper rushing at you.. Hm..
IDK, if this was a good match. Because for once, this was no more just a chore nor job. This was payback!! This was revenge! This meant something to me!! Though, it was not a good feeling, it still was feeling! I might not love my soccer yet, but I managed to feel something during a match now!!
Then 16 dec we challenged MI,
I have to admit, I was not professional enough, my head was turned slightly by the fact LOL camp has started!! Well, I had this mindset, "the team needs me" Which in a way is true, the team needs everyone yet no one is bigger than the team.
Hm.. Ok, lets get started. I got elbowed in the nose for this match.. There was this guy, when everytime I felt I was fouled, he was just shout. "Get up lah" Seriously, he was provoking me.. Of course now that I was experience, He gets hurt, not me.. Wakakaka!! When he fell, I wanted to shout at him, "Eh. weak ah, get up lah!" Well, I reheld. Then I asked to get sub out, because due to the ACS(I) match, I was still badly hurt, and my speed has been affected because my ankle is not as strong!! So game over for me then.. :/
If you were at LOL camp and you saw me running. That aint my fastest, cool right? Becoz I still was pretty fast during the camp! Wakaka!!
Well, these are the 3 matches... And I hate the treatment I get in soccer matches!! I really hate it, and it doesn't help when you find playing soccer a chore!! God!! Help me!! >.<
P.S Sry for this huge delay!! I need to get the pictures from my friends, and this post is really long!! But everything still applies, I believe you are really going to be blessed from this post!! Enjoy ;)
Even though, I feel tired because I did not managed to get a lot sleep on the super comfortable bed of RWS, due to Ian but I feel very refreshed from my time in the RWS and USS!! Haha!! I really enjoyed myself, and God reminded me of many things about him in USS!! So my post will be on RWS and USS alright!!
In RWS, I throughly enjoyed myself, and I made sure I enjoyed it an had a great time of relaxation. We were stayin at the Hard Rock Hotel and the beds were so comfortable!! I could sleep for a whole day if I was allow de leh!! Then on 10 nov, the class guys or it was just Ian, Han Wei and me who decided to go for a morning swim!! Wee!! I dont live in a condo, right? So morning swim was a never in a lifetime until today!! Haha!! It was fun, though I did not have a goggle, but I realise I have not forgotten how to swim!! And swimming can be considered a workout yea?? Haha!! The swimming pool is also very cool!! There is a section that is like a beach, there is sand in the pool and sand for you to lie down!!! OMG! Zai boi?! I was blown aback!! So cool! Then we went to relax at the spa pool! My first time in a spa pool too!! OMG, it was relaxing! I never had a spa before leh :O
So overall, I really relaxed in Hard Rock Hotel!! Its a relaxing time for me!! And I am greatly refreshed from it. Wow...
So lets talk about on my time in USS alright?
On wed (9 Nov), I had soccer training. Then I rushed over to RWS! I had asked to be released early, so I could rush down to join my class for USS! Before I continue, I just want to let you know that I have never been to USS MY WHOLE LIFE until yesterday!!
So I reached there at around 11.30!! I chionged from training, that I waited outside USS for my classmates to pick up my call cause a newbie just arrived. Guess what, I waited 30 mins outside while they were enjoying their rides!! -.- Until they called me back. Then they told me they were at the Mummy area, newbie did not get lost ;) but he waited again for 30 mins in USS itself as my classmate did not tell me thy had moved on -.-
Wow, imagine my impatience! I spent 1 hour just waiting, and I paid $66 t do that! I was angry, in my head, I was thinking what a great class outing in a sarcastic tone. It was a great test of patience and a test for myself to make sure I would not be a spoil person and spoil the fun on a day that everyone greatly anticipated and was so agog for!! Thankfully, God gave me patience and help me. And the day was savaged and it drastically changed after I meet them... Praise God!!
That was just the daily trial each of us would face daily. And a opportunity God uses to change me.
BUT this is a main gest of USS for a first timer in USS!! Hehe!! God revealed to me the kid in me!! and He got me thinking of many things about him, about His word and principles of life.
When I first stepped in USS, I was amazed by the scenery. It was very nice but like a "grown up" boy, I quickly realise this was cheap thrill. The place seemed like as if you were in Hollywood but it was just a fake, a copycat, and it was a cheap thrill! Perhaps it is the values the world teaches us that we will not settle for second best, hence my "cheap thrill" judgement. Well, today God was going to change my thinking today! Mind-blown :O
When I meet up with the rest of my class. They decided to rest, so instead of sitting with them and wasting away my $66, I went with Avery to ride my very first ride in USS!! BATTLESTAR GALACTICA! I knew that the ratings for this ride was very high, and as I watched the people screaming, and the pace of the ride. I was afraid!! Yes, I was afraid. Someone who is known to be very brave/fearless suddenly was as timid as a mice!! Eeks!! But Avery got to me ride the red line!!
So before I commentate on my very first ride. We need background info on why I was so fearful!! Well, I have never taken a roller coaster ride since I was 5 years old! Yes, I am that deprived but its a like of an athlete, we all have to scarifice! So lets get back on track with the adventure yea?!
I remember walking up the ride, to the platform. That fear within me. It felt so weird, it has been a long time since I felt so nervous and afraid. Then again, I was so amused, by the decoration and design. Wow, its has been a long time since I felt this amused. I was taken aback.... I don't know what to say, but all of a sudden, I was no more that brave Yue Seng I knew, or had always been. I might be a whiner at times, and refuse to do things, but I have never been afraid to do them! I have done high elements, and all the scary stuff at Serve'11 but I was never frightened, so why of a sudden was I afraid? Hm.. I don't have a reason, but I was afraid, scared, terrifying yet excited. This was something I have not done since 5 years old!! So lets get on alright!!! The ride was so scary!! I closed my eyes most of the time! And I held on to the seat with all my strength! I was so scared!! Eeks!! I felt like an elephant seeing a mice!! Suppose to be brave but scared by something that people enjoy and deems at fun!!
Usually guys would say must be brave, cant scream like sissy! I tired not screaming, but I failed badly after halfway through!! Well, I thought I was going to die!! I remember the shocked face I still had after getting off the ride. Wow!! I am really very stunned!! Or I was!!
Then after that I went to take cyclon!! It is the blue one, the one where your feet dangle in the air!! And it goes 360 degrees turn, twisting and turning, and at high speed!! Eeks!! This was worse!! You know why? Avery got me into seating into the first row!! And I was taking this for the first time, I did not know what to expect!! I was more terrified, I was going to see everything in a front view, the whole USS and all!! Terrified ttm yea?! This time, must be more "man" I
would open my eyes!! Ahaha!! And I did, I managed too!! But now, I was sure I was dead!! Ahaha!! Really, after the ride, I was like, "are my legs intact?" and "am I alive?" I was traumatized.... Yet, I was hyped up!! I could not stop talking about what I saw to Avery. It was like as if I was child again!! I could not stop chattering about it, even after the ride, I could not stop talking about it! It was great yet so scary!! I don't know why, instead of the "orh" me, I became a chatter box!! Soon USS was no more a cheap thrill, this was the real thing!!
Well, it got me thinking why all of the sudden in thinking. My reason, I become a kid all over again. That fear changed me. Why? Simple, as we grow up.
Each of us experiences hurts, and we harden our hearts so we won't feel them. Am I not right? Admit it, its true. as we do so, we tend to be less sensitive because we refuse to open up. I did, I refused to scream remember?? BUT for me, just as my mouth was forced to open and give out that high, sharp, and piercing scream that had made Clara shocked, my heart was also opening up. It was vulnerable all over again. I was no more a grown up that had put on the front of being wise, but a kid all over again. And being a kid, I felt like I had no more pride to look after. I was a child, simply a child. Not concern about keep face, or pride but just wanting to enjoy what they was for me to enjoy! It was a lesson, that my pride was not that important. "Why bother about leaving some face for yourself and then you hide the self that God wants you to live out loud? Why would you choose pride over the plans God had planned for you? Why live life the way the Earth says and miss out of the great fun God has for you?"
I took this ride again and again and again at around 6 when we had rode every other ride and everytime I put on that safety beat, I was afraid. Still afraid, but I was willing to scream like a kid again. Not wanting to act tough though I was sitting next to girls (guys, you know you tend to act tough in front of them, don't you?) but just enjoying this ride. And guess what, I rode it until I could lift up my hands, open my eyes and SCREAM!!
So here is the next point. Remember the part when I said I was going to die? Why did I say so, because I had no trust in the safety of the seat belt until I had tried it and realised that IT WORKS!! :O
God taught be two things. The first time I rode it, I asked myself why did I do it and not back out. simply because of faith!! I did not trust it, but I need faith to do this and trust the safety!! I don't really care about stats, I just knew I was scared! So it is the same when God tells you to take a step out of your comfort zone! We need faith to make that first step... Faith indeed.
The second is this. After I rode it many things, I became to trust it and could lift up my hands. It reminded me of how once we have experienced God's goodness and his wonders. We will begin to trust him totally, just like how I began to trust that seat beat... Some pics, sounds cools?
Then another place that got me thinking was Far Far Away.
Ok, actually Far Far Away got me thinking a lot more than Battlestar Galactica!! I hope you all know how does Far Far Away look like, is a grand castle. And of course that sense of awe was still tingling within me. And it was this sense of awe that got me wondering, how would the kingdom of God look like??
Hm.. For this section of the post, I will need you to look at some of the wonderful picture I took using my friend's camera...
Just looking at it, I really want to imagine. Imagine God standing at the top of the balcony, and we are at the bottom all looking up to him. Hear the applause, hear the cheers, hear the praises.. Wow.. I wonder how heaven's will look like when we go there someday. Where the streets are made of gold, and everything is so wonder. Being in Far Far Away, it got me wondering if this place looks so nice, how much more wonderful would heaven be!! :D
The Sign "Far Far Away is Here!" As I took this picture, what came to my mind was the phrase in the bible.
His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord. - Matthew 25:21"
Imagine God telling me that at the end of my days on Earth and that will be the moment I enter into Heaven!! Wow!! Why did that thought come? Coz Isn't Heaven far far away from us now?? And to see the word "Far Far Away is here" sign, it struck me like this is the moment I was entering Heaven!! haha!! Though, it was not since I am still on Earth but it struck me how cool it would be to see the sign "Heaven is Here" sign in future!!
Next up!! As you can see, is this shield I took while going to watch the Shrek 4D show!! Hm... Are you thinking what i am thinking??
Yes, it served as an reminder that god is our shield!!
"As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the LORD is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him. - 2 Samuel 22:30-32"
So it really reminded me of how God is my shield, my strength, my refuge, and my everything!! Entering Far Far Away reminded me many things about God.
Well, get this is our mind. God is your shield!! He protects you, He will always protect you. How comforting is that!! :)
Here is a song that really is timing with this small truth!! :D
And next, is this crown that you see. I bet you can guess what this all about!! Its about our King!!! Yes, God is our King, and he will come again... Well, I found this crown very cool!! You know why, because its is giving out water...
It reminded me of how God continues to fill us up, pouring out his love for us. Well, the crown symbolizes God, and the water, his love, his peace, his grace, his mercy.... Always being poured out to his children.. Did you have think of that when you when into USS??
Well, those were more or so the images I wanted to show you and talk about... Indeed, going to USS was an eye-opening experience. One that I will remember for a very long long time!! :D
Hm... Looks like the "You are the Apple of my eye" movie hype has not ended..
Well, to keep you waiting for my USS post! Her is something the boy realise about himself when woo-ing the girl.
Well, I kinda share my past "love life" with someone rather recently, Fulfilling a pinky promise lah!! Then as I came across, this picture, and read the words. I felt that the are quite true... :/ So must share lah!! LOLOLOL!!
