Boredom Madness
Monday, February 11, 2019
Always Remembered
Still hear your voice, still remember you standing there. Still remember your smile. Still remember seeing you so weak. Still remember...You.
Monday, November 19, 2018
Exchange 2018
Perhaps its time to journal some of the journey.
I remember the thoughts as I boarded the plane left, how I prayed that God will water the seeds that have been planted. Learning I can't say goodbyes well, and that my preference not to attach myself to anything as much as possible.
I remember how I never took a plane for 3 years, since I was always occupied in Singapore, and my first time flying was to Europe alone on 22th Jan to Czech Republic without data in the middle of the night. What an experience. Always thought I was going to not make it to my hostel in time, and had no google map to use since my flight was delayed yet ending up at my hostel at 2am alone. By His grace, the experience will live with me.
I remember completing my assignments in Barcelona, staying up till 3am to complete it on a Champions league night (Barcelona vs Chelsea), and then waking up at 8.30am so that I could spend 1 hour prior to find out how to get to Montserrat and then actually going there to spend the whole afternoon and evening there.
I will remember missing our train to the airport in Paris and being stuck on the streets, trying to figure out french and googling how to get to the airport in the middle of the night. In the night when the homeless people surround you, and drunk group of people are nearby. Fearing for safety, yet being able to get to the airport safe and sound. His protection and grace upon us.
I will remember being so upset that my exams would clash with her trip to Scotland. I remember sulking in Venice, the floating city, over the fact that I was most unlikely to see her and then how I was trying my hardest to find a way to do so. Clearly my stubbornness was at work since I decided to make my way over to Inverness on the Thursday after my 4th paper, which ended at 6pm, and returned from Glasgow just in time to take my last paper at 12pm on Monday. But that crazy idea turned reality was one I would not regret. Recalling how I felt I didn't do too well for the paper as I did not exactly study the readings and worrying I won't pass. Which is the dumbest thing to do as it would have meant I wasted 6 months and not cleared a module. Yet He remain faithful, and I still got a B.
Taking a sole trip to Austria and Germany. Standing in the Alps, taking in the view and cooling air was another beauty. To see the beauty of His work. Exploring Berlin, Vienna and Munich alone... learning about the city and spending more time in the parks reading a book than bothering heading to any tourist attraction as everything had slowly started looked the same in Europe.
So many stories, so many memories but I'm still glad to be home. Closing the book, and not wanting to head back. Home is where the heart is, where surroundings are familiar, where God has placed you to have a role to play in the lives of others.
All in all, I have been to 18 countries and 37 cities. You may guess some of the place where I went.
Friday, November 16, 2018
Love I Don't Deserve
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Dear Seng (Army)
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Taiwan & Sawang
Well, recently, I have been travelling a bit lately. To Taiwan and to Thailand.
So let's start with Taiwan. So Taiwan was a holiday with my army friends. We went for a period of 10 days? or more. Am not really putting much effort to recalling the length of the trip but it doesn't matter. More important were the memories made there which I would admit, was not as fun as my first trip there probably because it is with a larger crowd, and I have seen some of the things there before. I still managed to do some of my shopping and all. See sheeps, limestones and other sight seeing places like Sun Moon Lake. Gosh, but was the new year period a bad time. We got stuck in the jam for like almost a whole day. Leaving us with just the evening for one of the last few days.
First time at a Geopark, at a sheep farm, attending a countdown party in Taipei, and chilling at a cafe in Taiwan. Other than that, all were mainly repeats like Shilin, Like Sun Moon Lake, like XiMeng, like Night Markets and etc....
What about my thoughts on it? I personally wanted a more chill place to head of to after my exertions in the last few months of 2014. It really took a lot out of me, back to back to back stuff and event planning that came my way. I wasn't so much in the mood for shopping or to be in the company of so many people, but I would not say I did not enjoy myself there. I was just leaning more onto the beach, book, waves, silence feel rather than the city, shop, eat and play feel at that point of time.
And at the end of the day, I would remember this trip as my ORD trip with my army mates. Considering time waits for no man, I'ma free man right now. I won't be staying again with that same bunch of people almost everyday. It was fun, and we grew together during that time. I won't know when we will all meet up again considering our paths divert for now.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Man Of God
Hm... I honestly hope that one day, I will be like that too... a man of God.
Well, I don't know what happened to the embled code or something. Just gotta click the link to youtube bah..
Skit Guys - Man of God: http://youtu.be/AS5sRvF60js
Sunday, September 14, 2014
NDP 14
NDP, every NSFs National Death Penalty.
Well, that was what I felt like I got sentenced to when I heard the news in Feb. Thinking back, I remember pretty vividly how depressed I was. Nothing could cheer me up. All that was flooding my mind was all the sacrifices that I was going to be forced to make and I had no say nor any ability to have that cup taken away from me. Sure, I knew my parents would be proud that their son would be involved in Singapore's 49th birthday when I broke the news to them, but their son was in no sense amused or being filled with a sense of pride and honour on being given the opportunity to do so. This was a death penalty in my eyes, and one that would take me a few days to be get back into the right frame of mind.
At least the news was broken to us way in advance to allow our minds to get back into the right frame of mind. It really helped, because if I was made to jump straight into rehersals during that period of time, I would not have given a care in the world about my marching, or sub-standard marching. I was still reeling from the lost of my Saturdays. Going to D.I., dinner with the boys, playing soccer in the morning, the lack of time to practice for main service on Sundays, the inability to attend meetings at night
Well, so the journey to 9th August continues since time waits for no one. Having internal company drills, wearing IBAs (a army vest) under the hot sun to increase the risk of heat injuries. Honestly, I have no idea why we couldn't do our rehersals nor actual parade in just our No. 4? Especially when you have rehersals in the afternoon during the hottest period in the year. At least, the drills trainings were just the basics, and we had not yet when into overdrive so at least I could adapt and slowly ease myself into the groove.
Then came the NDP rehersals in Nee Soon camp. The camp where many ghost stories have been told, and where a regular was found dead just some time before or during the period when we were having rehersals at Nee Soon. And also the camp where I went through one of the hardest times of my army life. Oh gosh, just remembering how I felt doing guard duty during my course period in Nee Soon was like welfare for me, simply because I could escape the regimentation, the stand by beds and skip the morning portion of the training the next day.
So this was the start of burning away Saturdays. Booking in in the morning (at least I was allowed to drive to camp and have dinner and sleep at home on Friday nights), having to eat cookhouse food (Yucks!), going for many rehersals under the hot sun and hoping each would be the last one of the day so we could go back to send our arms and book out.
All wasn't gloomy during this period as we usually could book out early like 3pm on Fridays and by 7pm on Saturdays so at least I could attend some meetings for D.I. at night, or make some plans for the night. Also, it was nice to see familiar faces at Nee Soon, and how the whole parade was being pieced together slowly. These were the little joy that added some colour to my life. Personally looking back, I felt these Saturdays nights really helped me ease my transition to having rehersals at the Marina Bay Floating Platform, which were way longer but somewhat more rewarding.
So where are we right now? Hm... Oh yes, Nee Soon. Thus, week after week, I would go through the same routines, have the rehersals around the same timing. Celebrate occasionally when there is rain. And as time passed, that meant the arrival of the month of June, and that meant the month of D.I.namite. The experience of D.I.namite as a whole shouldn't be mixed up here, and I won't. But, the fact that both NDP rehersals and D.I.namite would fall on the same day would cause some sort of trouble for either party and thus it did. My stubborness and persistence to want to be able to oversee D.I.namite did eventually pay off but the process getting there wasn't easy. However, I would not elaborate further since, as it is a whole new story by itself. I just felt I should add it here because I felt being able to attend an event that I felt I had responsibility for, show that there is still some hope for the army. Considering I got turned down at least more than 4 times mostly without even finding out why, and how I really almost got into big trouble during the lead up to D.I.namite. #justsaying.
Let's move on to the floating platform, shall we? So the Saturdays where our whole Saturdays would be taken away had arrived. Now, it was booking in before the Sun had risen, and going back at around 10+pm each week. I don't have much to complain for this portion simply because I had already gotten used to the routine, and had already mentally prepared myself for it. Also because there was free food, and drinks up for grabs during this period which helped to keep my morale high. Wait, it was never high, it just kept it from falling in dangerous levels. Honestly, the Milo van and curry'O along with occasional KFC meals helped me not feel so upset about losing my Saturdays and partially Sundays because I would have difficulty waking up early on Sunday mornings, and would feel so tired for most of part of the day.
During this period, I would say, the full dressed rehersal of each week were the best because, I managed to witness the parachuting of the Red lions with my very own eyes. Seeing how everyone was in tuned with one another, along with the music. Knowing the squence of events. Feeling the sense of satisfaction when I hear the song that gave us the queue to march up into the stands. Seeing how the little kids so excited at seeing the soilders march during the NE shows.
And lastly the actual parade. Something happened on that day that nearly caused me not to march for the actual thing which when I think about it, I would get quite pissed but all went well, and I got my way eventually again. It was a day of anxiety for me, I was just fretting over whether I would march, I didn't feel the nerves for the parade just the in justice of the chance of not being able to march after days and months of training. The reason for the lack of nerves was probably because I never volunteered to do it anyway so I didn't care about it. It was more of a task I had to accomplish rather than an opportunity I couldn't wait to grasp. But I would say, the sense of knowing its the end was pretty nice. Sure, there was going to be mixed emotions about the end. No more free food, no more early Friday bookouts, no more Monday offs, yet this meant having my Saturdays back to myself. And knowing it impossible to be stuck in camp over the weekend because I wouldn't have to do a full day of rehersals then do gaurd duty for the whole of Sunday, which when you think about it, its quite horrible and inhumane to do so.
Its almost a month plus after it has happened, yet its not possible to express it all within a post. So much happens each week, but I only stated a few of the more prominent events that happened during this 4+ months. So many loopholes, and I'm sorry I can't better explain and express all that I went through. So oh well, read it if you want.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
My 2013 Army Essay
Monday, March 3, 2014
New Year 2014?
A new year...
Hm.. I really do wonder what all the hype on counting down all about? Those counting down to a new day really such a significant act? If so, why do I not see everyone counting down everyday.
As I wrote this, I just want to let you know I have no desire to say something cliche like, "Don't count down your days, make your days count." Yawnss... I have heard that too many times.
But true enough, having the watch night service, thinking about the things that have happened in my year. I look back, and this is what I see and feel.
Year 2013 was almost a carbon copy of 2012. And I remember I have always said 2012 was a horrible year and I will pretend that I had a time lapse and it never happened. Gosh.. who am I kidding?
2 horrible years. I figure out I entering my molding phrase. The most painful. But I have no idea why can't I have a break from all these. 2 years is a short time isn't? So is 365 x2 days consider short. And almost everyday is a day you don't wanna wake up to. Thats quite easy to bear, I presume.
Reading chapter 25 of "The Purpose Driven Life", it states "Transformed by Troubles."
Yes, I realize that I was being mold during the years but the hardship during the supposedly festive period is really agonizing. Seeing everyone taking leave, having holidayd and enjoying their end of year holidays... Its like rubbing in the salt into my wounds.
Its painful to know, painful to compare.. Painful to know that unlike many people who enlisted same time with me, they passed out of their courses and are no more treated as trainees but perhaps sergants and unit men already and here I am, still a trainee.. still undergoing test and training, having to deal with stress and people trying to prick my skin, sacrificing my Christmas and New Year period while people are enjoying themselves.. its painful... I don't have the required vocabulary to properly elaborate and explain the stuff I endure.. but.. haiz...
My God mold me, and my I be willing to get molded.. to accept the unbelievable suai-ness I get in the army that it feels like a conspiracy against me.. to argh... Just do what you have to, God.