Your Identity??

Hm.. I am so sad, coz I am feeling rather unwell today, maybe because we had to play in rain for our National Match then it got postponed.. :( Sian.. LOL.. So that means tomorrow I will be studying for just one hour then going off to play le.. I feel like in Sports School sia, all play little studying.. haha..

Ok, but this is not what I want to talk about... I was like resting then later I recalled Saturday...

And hm.. So I recalled this:

My mum, Pearl lor -.-, ask me this question or at least she did ask me this... (I forgot how our conversation became until like that.. haha..) "What are 4 things you identify yourself as??" then of course I will answer lor... I said" Soccer player, Child of God, Student(reluctantly) and restless boy"

Ahhaahh... yup, I said restless boy, that is why I have been so mischievous :D and so playful most of the time... For example, why do I always get chased around in school, sometimes during class time.. LOL..

But then she was actually asking what do I identify myself as?? And then many of the above tio cancelled out... For example, a soccer player.... It is not who I identify myself as.. It is more of what the world identifies you as...

SO this is what I want to say..... Will, how often do we accept what the world label us as?? How often to we behave what we aren't? Many of times, we will behave according to how people believe us to be, whether a soccer player, nerd or something..

Many struggle with the problem of acceptance from the world, yet we always do not bother about the fact that you are DEEPLY LOVED, RICHLY BLESSED, and HIGHLY FAVOURED by God. We have never really seen ourself in the way God looks at us, how he identifies as??

So have you been trying to find your true identity?? Or have you been behaving the way people identify you as?? Now, let as not care about these non-valid identities but the true identity is and can only be found in God.

P.S I not sure whether what I writing, you do understand totally, but you get the draft idea right??

Nationals are Beginning

Well, I think I am not blogged for a very long time already so here are some updates then..

Well, tmr is going to be the Start of the Nationals. Against St Pats. It is not going to be easy, that is for sure, but I am willing to give my all to win the elusive crown.

This is my last year, and I am desperately desiring to be crown national champion of Singapore. I told myself that I wanted to be crowned champion of Singapore before I graduate, and I am NOT going to fail my Os just to have a second chance at the prize if we achieve it this year. Thus that means, this is do or die.

And ya, it means I am willing to fight for what, but I know I have O'levels to take too... But I tell myself, fight for it, then chiong O'levels... I will excel in both!! I want to excel in both but it requires a lot of hardwork and determination.....But this I must know, God is ALWAYS in control. Only by his grace will I be able to achieve the amazing feat, I hope to achieve and this will require his grace and his miracles....

From my experience, Nationals is all about skill from the group stages to the quarter-final but once it reaches to the semis, it is 40% skill and 60% luck becoz all the teams will be equally matched, it is who has that magic touch that guides the ball into the net.. And I hope God grant us that luck and miracle... :D

So if you want to pray for me, this is it... That I may excel both in academics and soccer. That I will obtain extremely good results for Os and the National Crown for soccer... :D

Haha.. For fun, I bought this new boot about 2 weeks back.. And I have yet to adapt to it but this will be the boot that I shall trust during the National round... First grade boots.. :D Haha.. I am the Laser II freak, LOL.. yup yup.. if you never knew. This is an interesting fact about me...

My shoes are Adidas, my boots are all Nike... HAha.. It is true.. One day I can show u de.. :D

10 Weeks Already??

10 weeks already??

Wow, As I write this post, 10 weeks have officially passed!! Meaning that I time is running out as I take my O'level exams!! LOL.. Best part chinese is up first!! LOL.. GGing sia..

Well, I am surpised how 10 weeks have passed so quickly yet in those 10 weeks, so many things have happen....

In soccer, in studies, in everything lah!!

Well, from such a high morale in the soccer team, The morale has dropped so low that the team hs been DISBANDED!! Wat the bleah!! I have trained so hard for my jersey then now must return, super sad sia... Bad wat can I do......

The only good thing is during the individual evaluation for me, my coachs have pointed out to me that I have more strong points than weak points :D LOL.. The best part, the words then ended the conversation is "Too bad, you are suck with this team..." LOL.. But I believe this team got hope nai.. Except, making a new team might not be the best way to prepare for nationals and I am getting rather worried!! This is my last year!! I want to me national champions be I zao!! Then free from soccer le.. :D LOL.. U need to understand my deep desire!! To be crowned champion of Singapore!!!

Then for studies!! I still feel equally unprepared for O'levels however, I have found the urgency for chinese le!!! Coz less than 10 weeks away le!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Argh!! GG.. I want pass chinese so got more time for my other subjects!!!!!!!!

LOL.. If anyone want help me?? Can pray for me!! I desire and hope for:

1. To be crowned National Champions of Singapore in Soccer!!

2. To pass my Chinese O'level!!

3. To score imba marks for my O'levels!! Like <10>

4. Gold for NAFA!!! I can't do pull ups!! I don't know why!!!!

5. For Rhema to grow!! I will continue the work Si'er has left behind!!! The boys will be disciplined!!!

"I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe in you!!! - Nothing is Impossible"

Is this a sad essay??

Hm.. I was actually thinking about talking about my National Final experience again, but talk about so many times. I also sian le lah.. So I took time out and wrote a very reflective essay. The topic is: A time when you felt guilty.... (though I think my essay like got no link lah)

Enjoy my essay :D

Today, I woke up knowing that there was no school. I took out a notebook and pen and went to sit under the peach tree my aunt planted before she left for United Kingdom. I saw the wonder of the world just sitting in my backyard. With the shade, and peaceful silence and the pristine fragrance of the flowers, I soon started to reflect about myself. The world we live in passes so fast that sometimes we just go with the flow, never knowing what we are doing. But today was different, I was able to recede in that big peach tree and reflect on myself.

I have always been taught to stand back up every time I fall. I am always been taught to impact the lives of others. To help one other, to love one another, and to do the best in everything we have been given. But there are lesson in life that you needed to learn from experiences.

In everyone’s life, there should always be a mentor whom will love you, believe in you and teach you all they know. I had one just like that, he has influence me a lot. Passing down his knowledge into me, helping me become a better person and now I feel a mini version of him.

It starting just like any other ordinary day, waking up to go to school and coming home to do homework. However things took a twist later on in the day, my mentor sent me a message saying that he will be moving on, that he was not my leader anymore, and that our journey together ends and wishing me the best for my future.

I was at a loss of words when I read it. I did not know what I had to do, I felt like as though I lost all direction in my life. I felt as though my whole world had collapsed, everything felt so unstable.

It was just the other day we had dinner together when he told me these words, “I want you to know that I love you, and am willing to die for you. I believe in you, you will reach great heights in your life. I want you to be fearless and courage, be strong in everything you do.”

Yet I was actually not giving him my full attention, I was distracted and now, he is gone. I regret not giving him my full attention. He even asked me this question, “What is the one thing you have learnt and applied from me in these 3 years?”

I had great difficulty in answering that, I knew and had great knowledge about life, but had I given him my total respect and treated his words as precious gold? I had to slur my answer out but inside of me. I feel extremely guilty inside, but what done can’t be undone. That was unknowingly, my last meeting with him.

It is a dinner that I am not going to forget anytime soon. Not because the pizza were great, not because of the company then, not because something earth-shaking happened there. But because of those life changing words that have been spoken into my life.

I have learnt that everyone will one day go their separate ways. I have learnt that we must appreciate each other, every moment of our lives because time is running short. Love each other, to do things with your best. If not, one day, you could end up in my shoes. Feeling guilty, regretting my actions.

Tough Times

Hm.. Even just writing this post is painful already....

Well, I received major, earth-shaking news on tuesday. The day before I was preparing for West-Zone Semis and Studying for Physics Test... And hm.. I think he affected me very badly coz I lost interest in everything I did.... And then my world felt like it collapsed the next day where I feel I lost everything... :(

Even a sad face is not enough to comprehend the pain I feel......

Okay, maybe things aren't as bad.... but actually I feel it is... Coz I feel like I have disappointed badly, as everyone in school is like expecting us to be champions..Since we have won every match... So you gotta understand the immense pressure on us, even the principals is counting on us..... And well, we lost to Regent.... We can't blame anything.. Maybe we won used to playing on normal grass?? Maybe it was to hot since we always play at 4.30..?? Maybe everything lah!!! no point le... We lost 2-1.... No point, I am deeply sadden, I am heart-broken.... I feel so bad inside!! I can;t believe I let people down.... Expectations, Expectations... They have always been on my shoulders.... And now, I collapsed under them... :( Scoring one goals could not save us, but I would like to dedicate that goal I scored to my great mentor, and leader, Si'er.. :D Though I was a simple tap in, but still... To play in the heartache and score, it is nice... but still the pain within me seems unbearable at times...

It does not matter already, I got seriously injured in that game, I got whack in the chest, which gave me difficulty breathing.. And currently, my chest still hurts... Well, The bad news I received that made me lost interest in everything I was doing is....... I will not say....

Some know, Some have yet to find out, Some will never know??

Hm.. All that needs to be done is I need to stand up. Someone taught me this, "If you fall, stand back up and continue" ......

I really need to stand back up on my feet, I got souls yet to be discipled, souls to impact. And I got be strong for the people who look up to me...... Maybe this hurt, or pain, or grief will drive me into greater heights, but that should not be the kind of spirit that drives me up....

I really don't know, I need comforting. I need strength, I need grace, I need power. I need to pull myself back together!! I not sure if people understand the huge setback I have felt, the huge lost in my heart, the huge pain in my spirits?? I need help!! I hate it to affect my life, but it is!!! Though, I am still equally talkative, and playful and restless.. But my heart hurts, very badly... :(