JJ open House

Today, JJC had their open house!! Hehe!! But this post will not be the open house because it was super super boring.. I was actually reading my notes aka studying for tmr's biology test!! >.< haha!! But this post will be about the soccer match of JJC vs Greenridge Sec

Well, I did not sit and watch the whole match but I did watch them and well, I will admit it, the standard was not up to standard..

And just watching it, I felt too helpless, so frustrated because Greenridge players were diving and I could not do anything about it..

I dont know why I felt like that. Usually, I wont feel anything because I am still finding back my love to run on the pitch with the ball and trying to rekindle my love for soccer. Perhaps it was because there was a lot of fans watching this match as it was the Open house. I really don't know..

Perhaps, what I desire is to be watch at when I play soccer. I have been thinking about it and the most satisfying thing a footballer can get is that when a person watches him play, and then says he is good. That is perhaps the most rewarding thing someone can receive.

Well, so perhaps that has been that missing factor all those while. That has been what I was wanting all along?? Maybe?? But it could also then perhaps be the fact that some of my friends do want me get injured, and I am been withholding myself from playing the game to my full capabilities and try to stop myself from snaking my way pass defenders so that might mean that I don't get that sense of thrill doing such stuff and perhaps it resulted in me not loving the game I play.. :/

I really don't know why, I don't know what cause me to stop loving soccer but after watching the match in the stands. Hearing them cheer on the team, I kept telling myself that it should be me there absorbing those cheers!! Haizz... I do miss playing in front of crowds. I really do. It was great playing in the National Final but that was the highlight of perhaps my 'mini' career.

And I that feeling of being helpless was really painful. That is the emotion that will spur you on to do things beyond your capabilities and that what I have not felt for a long long time. But I do wish to return to the field and play my last year of soccer competitively. Or hopefully it will be, cause I got a feeling that I made a promise to not play soccer in Uni, or did I? 0.o??

At least now I know I want to return to playing soccer but I am not sure what would happen if I meet a strong opposition and am unable to make a fool of him. And he is able to make me not play my game and I won't get those cheers if it is an empty stadium. Will I still be happy to play the game even if people are not there and I am unable to make a huge impact.. :/ IDK again and that is a worry.. :/

Hm.. I think I am a troubled boy by this :/ Haha!! But the main gest is come a watch me play and support me lah :D Haha!! I do like to play in front of crowds but don't give me that sad face when I get injured hor, it will stop me from playing my game wholeheartedly.. :(