Hurts

What fills you?? The question that I was asked to answer...

I gave it some thought, then I came to a conclusion. The word now is hurt. Vague, yet a strong word to use. Been trying to pin-point the reason behind my self-imposed yet not self-imposed torture, and the word hurt popped up.

Everyone has been hurt haven't they? Some just dumber to allow themselves to get hurt because they jump into things without taking into consideration the long-term, while some are wiser in minimizing the hurt felt. No one can escape pain, they need to face reality, and experiencing it a bit will help. That being said, experiencing too much ain't cool. No further elaboration needed. But an addiction to it is crazy, yet realistic. #justsaying

I would admit, I am hurt. Really bad. Everything looks beak (Alright, exaggeration! Not everything, but most), hope seems slimmer than slim. And then these eyes that are reading this will wonder, "What made this guy hurt?" Sadly, the answer lies with me and me only, and when that happens, one can only dream of finding out.

"Why? :("

Perhaps hurt has something to do with it? But then again, I have been like since Sec 2. Oh gosh, thats a long time back. But its true, since my National Final heartbreak, time has made it less painful but its still an event full of regret. Then on, I never told people much...

But the hurt, its been resurfacing! When I study, it takes a random flashback. KABOOM, I put down the pen. Its over. When I am playing the piano.. KABOOM, its over. When....

Recently, I almost dreamt that it was possible. I had a dream, its was snatched and dashed. I was beginning to get to terms (just joking, if I can't even get over a ball game. You think I can get over things that might be more important that that?) then I almost dream that it was still possible. Don't raise my hope, and dash it again. I ain't as strong as I am. But I am torturing myself to get myself stronger so I can handle it. I am crazy, I know.

Yet in the mist all that, God has been saying things to me. For once, I believe that I can be the man God wants me to become. But first, the heart needs healing.