I need my PSP now!! Mum, if you ever will read this, can I get to play my psp?? Becoz I really want to get my head distracted from this matter... Don't say STUDY!!! Coz I am too heart-broken to study, let alone open a book...
Well, so I really wish I could relive those wonderful moments in my Soccer life, and change those bad memories... I watched in horror as the nightmare unfolded in front of my eyes... A few days after the newspaper report the fight between SA and ACS(I), Hong Kah and Kent Ridge almost had their very own fight... I got flagged offside 6 times!! Bloody!! And how I wished I was a right-footed player just a few hours earlier becoz the ball fell nicely for a volley from my right but I totally miss it!!! And I blame myself... Well, no point crying over spilled milk now, so I will bring you through the flashback of my soccer journey...
Well, the reason I said 10 years I have trained, but come out empty-handed is because my passion started from Primary 1...
In Primary 1, the incident that sparked my loved for soccer was when I was in my mother grandparents' house. I was sitting in their rocking chair and I was watching what the men were watching.. SOCCER!!! It was Home against Gombak, yes, the S-league but it was an interesting game and that sparked my love for soccer. SO from then on I have played soccer everyday of my live from Primary 1 to 6.. Yes, EVERYDAY!!! I have never skipped one day and in that process scored 326 goals, 50+ were right-footed, 20+ were headers... I still remember everything because I love this sport and it is going to be a bit hard to walk out of the door, into a world where soccer can't survive in....
That is a simpler summary of soccer life in primary school, I never joined my school soccer then because it sucks but everyone knew I was good in it. I remember playing in the corridor of the school, and I will be dribbling pass so many people to score a goal. I also remember how everytime during recess, I would enter the school field and the match will come to a stop because people will argue which team I was going to help.. -.- haha. this are fond memories and I love them.. :D But they were soon history the moment I became part of Hong Kah Soccer...
Well, life in sec 1 was shit... Because I when to the policy not to speak malay(Thought it was reason why my chinese so poor), I was more or so out-casted. I remember being told to go join BB lah by some of the malays, when we were having the trails. But I persevered, but it was just the beginning to my nightmare year in soccer. I missed out on my chance to be named in the school team and I was very sad because I worked very hard for it... then things got worse, my asthma acted up again.. :( And I was out for 1 month, it caused me my place again for the National round... Then I got a fracture in my leg... So sec 1 seemed a horrible year for me, because I missed out on everything!! Usually people will just quit, but I did not and well things got better during the pre-season.
I returned from injury and I soon got into the first eleven, don't ask me how I did it but I did it.... I was amazing.. And of course, my teammates respected me. I have not heard the word go join some other CCA, because I am now part of the most glorious CCA in the schoool. People outside never knew I did not make it into the school team them so I was also looked up then... haha.. SO cheat lor...
So summary of Sec 1, I was a nobody, and did not make the cut then but during pre-season, things changed and I soon found myself in the starting eleven.
Then Sec 2 became the best year in my whole secondary school life. I scored 13 goals in 20+ matches. Played every matched except for Chestnut drive because I was sick then and the coach did not want to risk me. Won the West Zone title unbeaten, and with no doubts too as we trashed every team. Became the first batch to reach the Manchester United Premier Cup Semis and lose to Sports Schol but got second. Made in to the National Final, played the match of my life. Lost unfairly and that I believe was soon the beginning of our downfall that crumpled this year...
Because we were so successful, egos began to grow. People thought they were superstars and never went training le. I can name but nah.. No point. Then Jas, our cap, when to sports school. Our team seems to crumple with that departure. We lost many good players then.. And the bulk of the team remained.
Sec 3 was well fun. Coz I got west zone second, unrighteously again but who ask us to be so short.. :( Actually, I never felt part fo the team until the national round when I came in as a sub, made an assist, revived the team morale, but missed a glorious chance again. then got whack above my ankle in another match. My nerve was twisted and the wound was open, so you could see the blood then and that ended my season. But I soon felt part of the team and was sad, but I told myself next year and look what has happened.. That is why I am sad... But the team that was super successful last year really never felt the departure of the stars because we had the Sec 4s and 5s...
Sec 4.. My last year.. Well, because we got back some of the lost stars, we had the bulk of our team back still... We when 17 matches unbeaten, or on a 17 match winning streak. We beat JCs and other school so we were still good, very good. So pressure was high on us. Then the season began and everything feel apart. Because of the pressure, there were high expectations. Every mistakes we made was like punished or scolded for lah. After the second match, people started walking out again... So soon, the team was deproving drastically. And when the stars were sick for the Semis, we were dead because we had very little players to count on, and I was like recovering from Si'er departure then so I was not in the mood. Things broke apart after the Semis, ego arise, selfishness appear, lack of hunger showed up and more of the leftover of that winning team were left. So it the Nationals, it was mostly Tom, Dicks and Harry who wanted to play because the coach wanted hunger.. Only fresh blood could do so since we have felt it before.
And so it should have been expected that we weren't as good as that winning batch but it also meant I did not have the team that could bring me to that National Crown I wanted!! I feel like I wasted my time but I have improve a lot since I was 6. Well, so it spells the end of my soccer career maybe, because I have D.I, PE band, and other commitments to attend too that I will not be able to join a club nor join some school team in my JC or Poly life as commitment on 3 fronts will be very high!! And I am human, not some inhuman person...
But at least, I will still have my China trip to bid my farewell to the sports competitively... :(
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