As my Soul Weeps

Well, my mid-years are over and I am feeling sad because I realised my Mid-year was going to count for something. *sigh*

Jethro asked me to go for the SAJC soccer trial, and I see no harm going so I decided to email the coach there....

All I said was I play soccer and want to know the trial dates, then I got a long list of requirements.. -.-" Wat the bleah... Then the trial on 29 May (I training in China during that time) so I said I will not be in Singapore then he say, if I want go for the second trial lah, Or most likely part 2 with the better player from the first trial. But he requires my Sec 3 End-of -year results and my this mid-year results. OMG!! No hope sia.. The results all like shit sia.. Though considered good for me since I have CCA during exam period last year.. But still it is CMI in SAJC standards.. :(

And the SAJC soccer trial was actually something to look forward too since my season is over (SO early sia!!) and I am like free, no more training, no more nothing sia!! Then I keep for for nothing. Walao... So if can got the trial, and hopeful go pawn the people, then at least I kept fit for something lah. But since need results, I super sad lah, coz I know I can't go. The results not good enough lor. And this trial was like maybe the last chance to savor playing soccer competitive football because it is beginning to seem clear that I will not be allow to pursue my dreams after O'level. I am part of the plans. The higher plan, not my plan but God's so I will have to surrender my dream then.. :( And I also want go POLY!! Coz easier ah.. I want to slack de, so in simple terms. I JUST WANT TO GO THE TRIAL TO PLAY PLAY AROUND, THEN DECLINE THE OFFER IF I GET!! BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO PLAY SOME COMPETITIVE FOOTBALL!!! :(

Then I super sad coz my humanities got an A2 instead of its usual A1 and my other subject were below expectations again!! Sigh... Though my L1R4 and L1R5 have improved. L1R4 from 20 to 16 now, L1R5 from 26 to 21 now.. But still, it is a shit result slip!! Bloody!! I super sian.. Like I failed in my academics and I lost my sports... :(

Then again, the fire within me in burning!! 100 by June to all D.I Impactors!!