Boredom Madness

Argh... I must admit that without rest, in constant torture, punishment, pain and suffering. I seek a way out except I know that there will be no ending of this torture. I want blood, I wanna reap somebody into pieces, I wanna see blood ooze out. Destroy things, unleashing my strength on furniture bring me no relief, brings me no form of satisfaction. Perhaps its proof that my threshold has reached in max, the fortress of tolerance and patience has collasped. All I find is rage and anger. I so wanna dish out all my anger onto someone, but how can I beat up someone with repercussion and punishment. I have no reason to speak because even if I try, I will destroy things as I speak and I get more and more angry. I wanna smash a hole in the fence below my house, I wanna do it with the soccer ball just like old times. However, haven't I agreed to leave that game behind because of the injuries that are just part and parcel of the game? Arghh..... I want a way out. Why? I really wan...

Storms.. Storms... Storms.. In the journey of life, there would always be storms.. But never did I expect to experience a tsunami in my entire life.. Storms are present in our lives so that the glory of God may be revealed. And so that the beloved kids of God will return to Him, that their eyes are fixed back onto God. And as for tsunami, they happen so  that the whole heart may be broken and a molding process may begin. Storm after storm after storm after storm, have brought me to a place prepared to undergo another painful turmoil. As my life goes on, after 3 years experiencing a tsunami, a new storm appears. Yet a storm is overcome so much quicker than a tsunami. Through the tsunami, lessons and testimonies have been forged. These events will forever be written down in my chapters of my life.  Constant suffering and hurt, immense pain experienced, trapped in a deep dark pit for 3 years... I will never speak of it, nor would I ever care to explain. The only p...

Photographs.... A picture to remind of the times we had, the seasons we braved through, the people whom we met along our life journey. A way to counter the fragile memories in the minds of human beings. But mainly, to remember those special moments you spent with someone.

God can make tests into testimonies. And God will fight for those that love Him.  In the past few weeks, things havent gone really smooth sailing for me. I have been finding myself in situations with serious trouble although I have done nothing wrong and my actions were with good conscience and intentions. Its really too much to share and I don't know which one to share not how to begin. But lately, I have had a lot of responsibility heaped on me, as well as problems because I got appointed course I/C. (Its like a role where I oversee the whole course, meaning everyone even the platoon I/Cs) And truth be told, when I took over, the situation was pretty bad. Hatred and friction between and within platoons and the tensions are pretty high, where there were a few instances where fights almost occurred. A lot of punishments dished on everybody, and a lot tests and stuff that were suppose to be completed before my reign that have snowballed into my problem and time was running...

Can one freely speak one's mouth? To voice out the harsh and nasty words/truths I have to say about the army.  I doubt I can as long as I'm in Singapore. But I hate the army (whats new?) and as time goes by, so does my disgust and hate for it grows. I hate the army, and I '' unsure whether this growing hate is good for my health. I won't be able to beat the army, I know that fact. I know that as much I can have the guts and courage to challenge the army but I know I will be fighting a losing battle. Many have tried before me, many hve fallen before me. I don't plan to play a game I will not win.  But is my growing hatred and dislike for army good? As much as its so uncomfortable for me, its makes me grow. In one's discomfort, one grows much. But that doesn't change the fact that I hate army and will continue to do so. 

Open my eyes to see... The sense of fulfillment yet the sense of burden. Being blessed while trying to be a blessing, hearing stories of lives of people who are suffering and more needy... Yet one conversation with a old lady keeps playing in my mind. I never expected to be kept talking for so long, as the other rhema dudes were doing the other 11 units and waiting another 10 minutes for me to finish.  It was really inspiring to hear her so ready to converse with me. Hearing about her problems, the things she is doing, how she plans to study in a poly after her operations and telling me about how she is scare about the operation and all. To cap it off, I never expected I would be allowed to pray for her.  Truth be told, it was challenging. I wasn't mentally prepared for the challenge. Giving out gifts without engaging in converstaions would be simple but engaging in conversations and praying for "strangers' would be absurd. Called to love.   Well, I really don't know h...

Seasons of pain, seasons of suffering, seasons of trouble.. Seasons don't last.  Thus... Oh why so downcast, oh my soul...  Rise up to adversities, soar above circumstances....