Boredom Madness

Fell in love with this song, even though its not being a old song, during my exam period... Realize how much truth Corrinne May song actually have... Really talented and I getting blessed ...

Is it possible for a person to impatiently wait for something, yet trusting in God"s time and plan? Well, Yes. But my post ain't about it but it is food for thought. Here is a short update on my what have I been up to.. Went to Church Camp. Well, something happened in the camp. Don't know what to say, but someone within me was awaken, this self that has in a subtle way been not very evident. I was becoming really hungry for teachings/ sharing / discussion that will challenge my mind. Crazy? Maybe. But the camp was good. Note how I was experiencing intensive memory flashbacks, and thinking of stuff. Well, the only thing I will take away from the camp is the messages of the Kingdom of God, and encouragement of how Rev Ng on how he is radical. Isn't that what we want too be? Radical? I really respect Rev Timothy and Rev Ng. People rarely hear me respecting people, but I respect them man. Honestly, the message challenged me a lot, despite the fact that I have n...

Did not know it would be this hard to swallow a pill. Well, its feel horrible! Literally horrible. This holiday, I have come to realize how weak I am. Not physically, but mentally. It weird because my coaches have always said that I am one of the mentally strongest in the soccer team. Not only in JJ, but also during my spell at Hong Kah. I have come to the realization that I give up easily. You will think I am joking, because if you seen my competitive self. Congrats, you have seen and I am going to be a fighter. However, I don't know what has happened to me recently. The absence of soccer has lead to a change? I doubt the validity of that reason. The main idea is that I am beginning to give up! For once, I am giving up. Yet, it hurts to lose. I don't think I am a gracious loser, perhaps I will be forced to learn it one day. Very temperamental these few days too!! Caused by an upset/ heartbroken soul?? I am sadden because the situation looks bleak, hopeless and heart-...

Got no Title for this. Well, been thinking so much. Thoughts keep flying away. I just seat in the back seat and watch everything unfold. After Bynes asked me about soccer, I just feel like blogging on it. When people asked me out of the blue, "do you still play soccer?" I tell them no. Then they keep probing, "not even for leisure?" Some ask do you even watch soccer now? To all those questions the answer is no. Unbelievable but true. I have changed. Don't feel like watching, don't feel like touch the ball. But this is even crazier, I don't even bother reading up soccer news, ain't interested in being constantly updated because it wouldn't make a difference. Its weird, my soccer friends couldn't believe it. I didn't touch a ball for about 2 months already, except for the testimonial match and the step down for the J2s. I believe some others can't believe it too now that they have heard or read it. Perhaps some of you are do...

To me, everything is a illusion. Everything. Everywhere I walk now, its all an illusion. Yet it is reality. Something, I need to face. "Must I face it? Or can I just run away?" I would kindly prefer running away. I love to sleep, because I enter into nothingness. No dream, no worries, no daunting facts and truths opposing you, no pain. Its almost wonderful compared to living in this world which has no more meaning. Sadly, I don't get proper nights rest. Been going on for awhile, I hope my body doesn't fail me. Oh how I hate it when I awake, staring at the things of the world. Look, staring at the night sky, the sunrise and sunset, the plants on Earth, I classified under them. Everything I see with my 2 physical eyes, is things of the world. Usually, I find encouragement to press on when I look at them, now, I doubt its real. I am skeptical of everything. The motives of people, their actions and all. You don't know what they are thinking, you are unsure of t...

Times change, people change. When people do, so do their priorities, their valued things. Its just makes everything different. It feels so foreign to me, like this isn't what I know! I am lost, can't deny it. So what am I expected to do, constantly try and keep up with the change people make? I am actually getting sick of it. One day, things will be memories. But what is even worse is that the memories fade away after awhile. So many people do not remember it anymore yet I don't why, but I do. Having a good memory isn't really beneficial. My memory does not work on studies, just moments in my life aka events. So why ain't it beneficial? It hard to forget stuff that you want to forget. Its tough to take that knife and cut the strings that are still clinging on, the arteries that keep it running. It works both ways, everything in this world seems to. Its a double-edged sword. if you ain't careful, someone will get hurt... But its even worse when a person is ...