Boredom Madness

Read this sermon that Scarlet shared, and well, there was this portion that wrote, "Attitude really matters, doesn’t it? It can make the difference between a good day and a bad day, a good marriage and a bad marriage, perhaps even a good life and a bad life. Chuck Swindoll says, "Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitude toward life. The longer I live the more convinced I become that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it." Well, isn't that true?? Life won't get any easier, but its our attitude towards things that could determine the outcome. Perhaps that is what God wants me to learn? I don't know. So many problems, so troubled. Its like wave after wave, without end. But its not the problem, its my attitude on how I want to overcome them. Going to rant abit, but perhaps you might understand snip-lets of whats is happening? I really do not know what to do. I don't want to ask for things to be

Some days, there are up and on some, there are down... Some days, you will be happy, some days depressed. I realize how funny soccer is . It can bring you joy then it can just make you super depressed in less than a week. You can be at top form on one day and play like shit the next. Soccer. Such a complex word. Non-soccer players don't comprehend the game, even soccer players can't comprehend it fully. Haizz... Can't deny, how depress I feel. I promised to quit competitive football after this year, to take care of my degrading body. But will I be able to do that? Today, I admit, that time is running out. This year is really the last year. I told none of my teammates, only I know deep down in my heart that every moment I can be on that pitch could be my very last. Well, suffered a mauling, qualification does not favour JJC no more. 10 April could be my last. Really can't describe this feeling. Perhaps no one understand, no one will feel the immense pain. I would

Was it noble or an act of foolishness? Well, until now, I still can't decide between the two. What I did in the RJ match, was it worth it? I really don't know, all I know is that I am suffering the consequences of it.. It was a Dejavu moment when I collapsed on the pitch, probably once in a lifetime thing too.. Haha! All I remember was the referee's back was facing me, then I blanked out for awhile, then I coughed and woke up again to see a lot of people around me. Then I got carried off lah, felt really dizzy... Oh ya, we won the match btw. Many of my teammates asked me after the game if I was alright. I feel the bromance yo! haha!! They all said I gave them a scare. Feeling like a master-troller now.. Haha!! They all knew I was sick before the match, even my coach knew. But I still started the match, interestingly to my surprise. Then my health got worse and worse as the match went on, but being stubborn. I didn't want to signal to my coach to take me off. I

Hi peeps! Today, Pastor Raymond talked about dating. I know, I know, most you will probably think me and dating don't go well in a sentence especially if there a not not presence in it! Haha! Was late for D.I today unintentionally though. Took drowsy medicine and slept from 11 to 3.30.. GG.. Ya, then tio chu stunt when arrived. Frankly speaking, all I saw when I stepped in was LEGO!! Weee!! And not the question the screen posted! Seriously, I show you the poster.. Seriously, don't you stare at the LEGO!! OMG! Childhood moments yo!! Do realise that it is a Storm trooper actually, without its helmet! Haha! For Star Wars fan lah, just saying.. Well, what Pastor Raymond said and talked about today, it helps me understand why some people want to get into a relationship. Seeing so many of  my friends doing so, and getting hurt in the process.. Understanding it better, and learning not to judge...  Pastor talked about how some people don't get to enjoy the love they cra

Yo dudes!! CTs are over!! Yup!! Not really confident about the results though, nor am I looking forward to getting back the results!! Didn't have the best preparation for it but hey, "God will provide!" Well, I am too lazy to blog about KL, or my CTs or how my holidays were spent in detail leh... Just lazy! LOL! But honestly, I would say the holidays were well spent not studying! Haha! But I love to spend my holidays just relaxing, and the best place to do so is in nature for me! Love the fact I could explore Woodlands Waterfront this holiday!! Hehe!! A night spent under the stars, flying a kite, and above the waters!! Then Sentosa was fun, just fun! A great time spent just getting dirty, going crazy and all! Haha!! In a way, it was a good way to return into my normal lifestyle of studies and soccer. Finished my CTs but academics doesn't stop there! Tmr, I have a soccer match!! Yup, A'div season starts tmr! But now, I shall blog. Well, during the CTs,

Hi all, havent had much time to blog! Too lazy to blog about KL, but here were some reflections I wrote back in KL... You might not understand, but I won't edit it. Need to mug for CTs... Forgive. Pretty easy to say, extremely hard to do. Well, I am finding it really hard to forgive now. Played our first soccer match today, and I was being marked, and wrestled. Yes, wrestled! Who holds you by the neck and drag you to the ground? Who inserts his studs into your leg until there are marks. Who gives you at your knee, threatening my chances of playing one last season. Who tackles you until u can somersault in the air? Haizz... Was really angry, and it affected my game. Well, the guy did say sorry at the end. But it was very obvious he was out to injure me, even my coach and teachers could tell while watching the match. my face was blacken. But honestly, it really is hard to do so. Especially during the match. If I managed to forgive him and concentrate on the match, I could

Hi guys! Going to KL today! Or in less than 6 hours from the time I started blogging. Nope, I am not excited. Not at all. Instead, I feel a bit sadden. I don't really want to leave Spore, not because I love Spore. I just don't see the point in going overseas to train. People say its a good experience, its fun, its enriching. I say I am bored of going overseas to train. So we go over there to play soccer, lose to stronger team. Get motivated for awhile to train harder and then the motivation dies off. I know some people who love to be in my shoes, to get out of Spore. But seriously, to KL onli -.- I have my CTs to take when I return, should probably just flunk it. And I am getting bored of going overseas every single year since Sec 1!! Can I have a break, I want to go oversea, don't misunderstand me, but not for soccer training and matches! So I am not really excited but I shall not be a spoil brat and destroy the mood in the camp. I know I have other reasons not w

We crumble at times, don't we? Well, I crumbled rather recently. Shouldering so many things, trying to carry them by my own strength. I crumbled, I broke down. It took me awhile to regroup. I kept telling myself, I don't have the time to regroup. But not regroup, trying to push on when your fuel is E is pretty hard. Unproductive, inefficient, not being me. It was hard pulling oneself together. Losing that strong willpower I that many people know I possess (actually, my willpower is way more evident during soccer matches), it was hard to push on. I really had to dig deep. Understand, and find a reason to fight back. It was really hard to find one. Really really hard. Don't worry, I didn't self-inflict injuries on myself. But thank God, literally, that He gave me a reason to fight on! To bounce back! I am still in a rebuilding period. Rebuilding myself, my thinking and all. I might not be as mentally tough right now, but I know I will return to being a near st

Pull Yourself together, dude. You need to.

Out of trance. Need to blog before, I dissappear into it. Not myself, been kept in a trance.... I don't know why. I don't know what I am feeling. Hurt? Anger? Pain? All I know it that I don;t want to go home. I just want to sit and blank out into space or just cry. Can't stop crying. And just sit, and cry. Lost my will to fight, to want to bounce back. I am tired. I contemplate lead poisoning myself (haven't done so yet though) Its like a soldier, disarming himself before the enemy. The enemy points the gun at me, I just disarm myself, giving him my gun. Even when my fellow soldier see me, they try to help me. I shout at them saying, "No". I have lost the will to fight, I am waiting for the final blow. Don;t want to fight back, it not me. I never give up, but now, I just don't care. Don't care about everything. On a side note, I am pretty fed up at how people think I am the most free person on Earth, in which they can book my rare free time (I

Chinese A'level results were released today! And so was the A'level result today!!! Well, I know I should blog about it but first, I need to reveal the other song that was upon my heart. And I have realized why it was. Take a look at the lyrics as you listen to the song.. Verse: You are the source of life I can't be left behind No one else will do I will take hold of You My heart is Yours for life I need Your hand in mine No one else will do Lord I put my trust in You Chorus: I need You Jesus to come to my rescue Where else can I go? There's no other Name by which I am saved Capture me with grace I will follow You My heart is Yours for life I need Your hand in mine No one else will do Lord I put my trust in You Bridge: This world has nothing for me (I will follow You) I needed God. By no means would I be able to pass chinese. Honestly, want to know how 'well' I do for my Chinese in J1? Have a look then.. Well, this is perhaps my standard