Boredom Madness

And so... Well, don't really wanna share anything at all. But that when I have the most to share. Ironic but true. Alright, perhaps just gave Nic a brief insight into stuff. 6 months is a long time, many things happened during that period and I was given the privilege to clarify the events with the him yet at the same time making myself vulnerable. Technically, I'm holding back my tears. Gosh, I think a lot right now. Was asked to think of something to give thanks. By right, we scan through the milestones in the year to find something to say. So guess what I found!! Nothing!! Nothing big at happened to me this year was happy, joyful to be about. Not even my birthday. But there would be things to give thanks for. Small things, minor things. I remember blogging if the one word to summarize my year. I won't repeat, I seldom do. At most, strike 3 and you are out. Find it yourself if you want. Then again, that sounds so much like me. The guy who has played his cards very...

Life can change in an instance. A sentence I heard today recently. Perhaps its true, and well, it is. What makes you so sure you will wake up tomorrow? Get to see the people you love, spend time with them? You never know, perhaps the best thing that could happen to you just turned into a nightmare in a blink of an eye. As much of my world has regain momentum and I am back to my always going out life, I managed to get some much needed alone time on the way back to Yew Tee. Surprised? Cause I made sure I was home for 3 days to rest? Ya, I'm surprised to. I didn't think much in those 3 days. I was too burnt to. So a full moon to accompany me when I was feeling "lonely". Thought maybe I could turn into a werewolf or something, oh well, dreams are dreams aren't they? Dreams are dreams, aren't they. Some mistakes that have been committed are done, can't turn back time as much as I wish. So the consequence, I have to live with it as painful and tortuous it ...

Hi all, And so it happens again. Amazingly, this whole week has been a spontaneous, heart stopping week. Why? Simply because I have been literally thrown into the water and asked to swim! Like what?! For example. On Sunday, it was suppose to be me making my re-appearance on serving on Sunday. By right, it was hard enough because I have been flying about that I didn't have the time to faithfully practice the piano. Also, the day before was CHRISTmas@D.I. which I had a responsibility to oversee the operations and made sure a relatively good job was done. As the event ended and I could only leave at near 11pm and reach home super late, which meant no extra practice time. Then I overslept the next morning, which was brilliant cause not only could I not practice, but had to burn $$. In addition to that, Lefa and I were the only ones playing. This meant that any one mistake is amplified as there is almost no one to cover your back for you. So fingers crossed. And I thought maybe ...

Really wished I could be at "Stand Up for Our Singapore" today. Stand Up for Our Singapore This Christmas! from Big Red Button on Vimeo . But haizz.. Was wanted home, to paint the house simply cause I lost to my dad in bowling :( Lose bet lah :( Haizz..  Well, turns out I back to sleep again, and woke up at 5+pm.. Been sleeping a lot lately, because I have been worn out. I have given myself until Wednesday to recuperate. Hope its long enough :/ If not, I just gotta survive cause I have agreed to more stuff again. But its my holidays, of course I should be spending more time with people.

Well, I am enjoying a day fully at home today!! Thats actually just consisted of me sleeping and eating. Literally! I woke up ate, then fell back asleep again. By my principles, that is a very unproductive day but I think I really needed it. I have no idea what to blog actually, so much to say, its rather hard to say it on a blog. Maybe I would tell someone in person if I will be spending a lot of time with someone and they ask.. Hmm... But say something now lah.. So.... Loved Locked Down was... quite interesting. Cannot pin-point nor know how to explain. It was a unique experience as I was seemingly very involved and then again not very involved in it. Unique, it don't know what to say.. Maybe some pictures will tell you I did enjoy myself, but was very drained from it. Ok, it was just one. All the pics are on FB. 959 people know it! That because I have access to D.I. fanpage and can see viewership! LOL... (Look at person in the centre and realize she spells the word...

CHRISTmas @ D.I. is tomorrow. Actually, have much to talk about. Life has been very eventful. Hoping to use the word rather eventful in future when things slow down for me. But I have no time, I got music prac, and CHRISTmas to look forward and take charge. I'm tired, no denying it. LLD was.. Prayer meeting with Denny was.. Soccer was... Driving was... So many things was... and the list can go on. What happen to piecing the puzzle bro? Oh well, Laska!! ^^ Just since I spent so much time listening to song.. :D

The re-mix of all the top trending videos are funny and nice.

(This is an imaginary story of a professional boxer. Wanted to use a war setting but I have done so before...) *Ring.. Ring* Narrates: He reluctantly picks up his phone and thinks to himself, "What now??" It is his agent... "Hello?" "Hello my boy!! I have good news for you! I have managed to organize a match with Manny in LA!! This could be life changing and bring you career to greater heights!!" "Wow!!", he replies. (Trying to sound hyped up for it as somewhere deep down in his heart, he hears his heart whisper, "I have heard his before..") He then hangs down the call. "Well, looks like I have to start training again..... But first, I need to pull my act together and start believing again." Narrates: And yes, he does. Having beaten Mayweather before. He thought that was it. He thought the floodgates had opened and his career would flourish. He really believed that it would be life-changing!! Sadly, it ha...

Serve the Lord in joy, giving what we are able to at the best of our ability.. Well, thats the lines I am repeating to myself. Been busy as of late, and feeling really easily irritated at times. I don't like myself to be irritated, or enter that mode. I prefer to restrain from such a mode. But honestly, isn't it December. Its a month for holidays. A month to play and enjoy. A month for this A'level kid to spend some time at home just nua-ing (You have no idea how long since I have been able to do so..) A month to spend time with people whom I neglected as I went into exile to prepare for a P.M.E nightmare. And wow, did I not know how much I have neglected people. Its like everyday I am out of the house. Going shopping, play bowling, watch movie, go chalet, go play pool, and go play soccer (Wah, everyday sure will tio jio-ed on this) Then coupled with so many other commitments and volunteer work, I may be burnt in December. Oh, the irony. Then it brings me to...

Havent finished my story post. Sry, that its taking a while.... Sry.... In the meantime..

Well. Just watched X-factor USA and I teared. Like literally, got something watery below my right eye or eyes since some say I have eye bags! Grr. I broke my code 3 of 'In Exams' but that doesn't mean I will throw it out. I ain't going to be moved, emotion shall be suppressed as long as As is concern. It has been like this, it will remain as it has been. But since "The Man Who Cannot Be Moved" just got moved. I will make an exception until I awake tmr... The show made me reflect and recall things that were around me. Things that I didn't really treasure. Things that I didn't really have the guts to chase, things that I was too foolish not to throw my face and cherish it. Now its gone.... Well, can't turn back time. Cherish what is before you then, you'll never know when they disappear.. Its so easy to remember the many things I lost this year, yet so hard to recall the beautiful moments experienced. Thats how the human mind tends to w...

Well. What has this year been? Something to thing about. I don't know whether this is in the heat of the moment, but I have only one word to describe it. Misery. Ok, was considering putting misery and mugging. That would be 2 Ms. But nah, everything could be classified under the former. My write up on the year would explain much. But its like never going to happen, that I would tell people. Yet, I am too nice. Brief explanation. Just yearning to smile and laugh again. Like a real wide smile, that tells a joyful me!! And a laugher! That I cannot control my laugh! Like literally ROFL! But haizz. Never got to experience that this year. Even soccer couldn't put that smile back on. How to? when you know you are worsening your physical state. It hinders the joy! Then what else is there..to bring that joy back... 😪 I miss Yue Seng :( Really do.

Well, one week passed in A'levels. But this just came into my mind.... H.O.P.E. Hold On, Pray Endlessly Well, or hope could mean this for a few people. Although I felt it didn't make sense..

Daddy God, I am afraid >.< But at the end of it all,

How essential is human interaction? Why do people even talk? Questions that I have asked myself. Everyone was made to for a reason, but notice how human interaction is important. What does it posses that makes people need them? Don't tell me you dont have human interaction. You utter a word to someone, its interaction. I am admitting even I need interaction. Coming from a person that prefers to be a lone ranger is quite something eh! However, is human interaction really essential? Not so in my books, and now I have brought it to the extreme. In a world where smartphones are the norm, social media and connecting with friends seem like a must. I have made my iPhone into what I deem just like a Nokia, or a pager. Why?? Challenge Accepted. I just deleted the apps so I now have no Youtube (no more watching videos), no Facebook (No more viewing random photos and all), no Instagram (No sharing my pictures), no Twitter (no short updates on my life).. However, I got blogger?! Nah....

This song got stuck in my head. Alamak! And I am beginning to like Demi Lovato too.. But here is the most important part. There will always be those days you remember why you chose the piano, instead of any other instrument. Well, today is one. As for updates on myself.. Hm. Still. If people remember why this is my favourite song, they would know my feelings right now...

Hihi! 40+ more days to A'levels. Prelims have already passed. So what are my results? H2: 29,39,39 Quite a good intake for H2 subjects when I studied and was looking for a B-C grades. So 40 more days to maintain such grades as it seems. And sign on and my life away to NS -.- Haizz. I am demoralized. Pretty much an understatement. I really don't know what to feel, to say, to think at all. All it not alright. Its all bleak right now. I tried, and that makes it harder to swallow. It should be study harder. Give me a break, like I really have the morale to fight on after a landslide defeat. What about regroup fast? I have 40+ days left. Do I look like I have time to regroup. Once I regroup, I will be in the exam hall waiting for a UUU. Triplet code for an amino acid as it seems. I am considering deleting myself from the Earth, or existence and re-emerge after 3 Dec. Delete Whatsapp, FB, Twitter, Instagram, and not pick up calls or reply SMS anymore but the most importan...

Masochist or Sadist? To a  extent, everyone is either or. But most are both. There are some people who are a pure masochist, or a pure sadist. But I think they are rare. Most people like to inflict pain either on oneself or others. But there are boundaries to everyone's torture. Everyone probably has drawn their own lines and will not cross it just to derive more pleasure or satisfaction from it. So then what are their standards?? You don't know! Haha! Cause you may not en know them :p Teehee! But this one you should find an answer. What are your own standards? The boundaries in places, when the wall must be erected?  Well, thats for you. However, who really thinks of such stuff? Don't point that finger at me. I will -.-... it would be unlikely that you know what you are. More of a S or a M? This was topic raised (See, I wasn't thinking about it!) and I have been labelled by my sister as a Mosochist. Would kindly love to differ, but all my argume...

Many things can turn one's head. Freedom, money, hurts, and the list goes on... Once heard, "There is a price to everyone's morals." So what happens if someday, someone decides to buy out your moral. Would you give in? There may come a price too huge to refuse, too tempting to decline, too enticing not to accept. Well, its been on my mind for a while.... What is the buy-out clause for my morals? Would I ever considering selling, giving in to the thing that I live by, to give away the thing that I hold dear, that defines me... Food for thought...

Daddy God had began his efforts to find his prodigal son. Trying to find him and draw him back. Yet the son still chooses to hide. *Will do up a story soon.. Its a trailer now*

Need to find something to update with... Shiok covers!! Or I found this guy who is zai sio! Alright. Not only about the guitar. Lets move on to the piano.. They call themselves the PianoGuys.. LOL! But I really respect this guy in the group called Jon Schmidt! Zai sio... He composed a song at 17 years old.    And another zai one.. Jarrod Radnich. Should have saved them all, and released one by one right? So can more 'updates" Haha!! Enjoy bah... There is a lot more zai stuff on youtube.

Met up with my secondary school friends earlier today. I am still digesting my thoughts, but I realized  have changed a lot and matured up way faster than some of them.. For example, I used to be known chasing and running around with Darren catching me. It was literally the norm back then, and now, I don't. Grown up le... Even though I was asked whether I wanted to relieve the old good times, I declined! Thats rare! Haha!! Well, lets start the post proper.. I have not met these dudes for a long time.. Really long, like since December 2010!! Thats almost 1 year and 8/9 months!! In addition to that, only I entered JC from this clique.. Usually when you attend such gatherings, or reunions. You would expect people to change since that is a constant in our living world. But I got to admit I was surprised with the amount of change I saw, or managed to access. The changes seemed mild because the main chuck of everyone's antics are still there. Peacocks remain peacocks, ...

5 days to Prelims, and I am fighting battles in the mind, heart and body. Injured in the physical, bitterness and un-forgiveness in the heart, trying to stand my ground in the minefield (mind-field). Well, but thats all I would say. So was this post a small update? No. I came across this pic.. It caught me by surprised. I was just swiping through pics then this appeared. So how many times have you judged a person? Well, it just takes 5 seconds to form an impression, and there you have it.. It's human nature to do so. (Have I heard this excuse being used before??) Our brains work in a way that it seeks logic, we seek to understand, we use science to find a reason, a logic behind every wonder. We seek to put things in place, to find an order than we can operate in. Its like, "Oh, she's fat. There she goes into my fat person list.." Its kinda around there, I believe. I am work in progress (sadly, so is LVP), I do compartmentalization for people that I may no...

Its hilarious. But no, I don't youtube to search old school songs. I got enough in my Itunes and Iphone.. But lets evoked old memories then..   Now, for something emotional. Well, Pixar animations have been consistently good..

Can you stop a man from dreaming? No. Its his fuel of hope and purpose. Be it a God-given dream or personal one, it that dream that makes you want to take action, to see it with your own eyes. So what if you take that away from man. A man without dreams lor. So simple, but I would prefer the term a useless man. But we seldom see a useless man because that spirit of aspirations is an in-build engine within us. I think to take away dreams, and another to see it destroyed are two separate things. It seems the same, but the product is different. One is useless because he never knew it, the other knew it, but he witness it being crushed like me crushing the chicken meat when I eat a chicken wing (have to lighten the mood a bit). So you get a man that suffered a huge setback, aimless as it seems. He will experience the pain, and understand what a dream means. Lets pause for a while. The London 2012 are closing in 5 hours time, imagine the athletes that took part. Most of time ...

What fills you?? The question that I was asked to answer... I gave it some thought, then I came to a conclusion. The word now is hurt. Vague, yet a strong word to use. Been trying to pin-point the reason behind my self-imposed yet not self-imposed torture, and the word hurt popped up. Everyone has been hurt haven't they? Some just dumber to allow themselves to get hurt because they jump into things without taking into consideration the long-term, while some are wiser in minimizing the hurt felt. No one can escape pain, they need to face reality, and experiencing it a bit will help. That being said, experiencing too much ain't cool. No further elaboration needed. But an addiction to it is crazy, yet realistic. #justsaying I would admit, I am hurt. Really bad. Everything looks beak (Alright, exaggeration! Not everything, but most), hope seems slimmer than slim. And then these eyes that are reading this will wonder, "What made this guy hurt?" Sadly, the answer lies...

A'LEVELS ARE COMING SOON!! Alright, its not exactly tomorrow. But its 100 days more!! Haizz.. Its so close!! Getting really stressed about it!! And my results for CT2 were bad by my standards.. So far from those As and Bs.. Well.. Hope to do well, and really need to start focusing and concentrating on As.. However, I am distracted.. :/

Yawns.. I am 18 already.. Well, before I start, just wanna thank my friends for making an effort to celebrate my bday. Its better than last year when I had no celebration at all.. But, nah, not point bringing up the past. Honestly, I am in no mood to celebrate my birthday. How can my soul celebrate what is suppose to be a joyous occasion when it is downcast? Nope, I refuse to wear a mask no more.. Can't bring myself to smile.. But still, Happy birthday to me! Welcome to the world of cigarettes, clubbing, and alcohol... I won't get wasted, its ain't me.. So no fear, being 18 still makes no different. I don't not believe that age is a limiting factor!!  Hm.. Yet, that won't stop me from making a birthday wish.

Recently, D.I was given the honour to run the sunday service!! I wasn't part of it though. Thought I could just sit back and be part of the congregation.. Then on the night before (or early sunday morning), I received an sms asking if I would share a testimony about the youth. Agreed to it.. Shared, hiccuped along the way but it made people laugh.. Oh well.. But that said, I was still "slacking" but 1 July was still slightly different. Here is the cool part. When I was playing back all my life events as I was "preparing", I was wondering why did God put me in such an environment. I have seen so many things that many kids don't get to see in their childhood. I would like to say, it was hard growing up in such an environment. It did taught how to adapt and blend in easily, and it shaped me to very pragmatic. Then after service, a few adults approached me, telling me how encouraged they were by my testimony and how they believe God has a plan for me.. At that...

Would update my blog on Youth Service on 1st July soon.. In the meantime, a song by the 'brothers'...

Haizz.. Honestly, I think I have lost.. It hurts... I have always hated losing. I was never a good loser, and seldom a gracious one. I am still learning to be one, but sometimes you just want to win and can't accept defeat. My brain has been working on what went wrong. What was the problem?? What did I do wrong? I question, I ponder, I wonder... I hate visiting my drawing board because that the board that revisit the past, revises the strategy used and tells me, "here you go, try again." But what if there is no second chance now. As it seems, that isn't I lost a battle that I put so much effort, and time, and even money into. It was a long battle, and that makes defeat all the more worse. If you are wondering what am I talking about, and wish to find out..... Don't bother, I almost never share the matters deep down in my heart. I refuse to open up to a world that is full of change. This world has disillusion me. This world is screwed up. Nothing much has c...

Fell in love with this song, even though its not being a old song, during my exam period... Realize how much truth Corrinne May song actually have... Really talented and I getting blessed ...

Is it possible for a person to impatiently wait for something, yet trusting in God"s time and plan? Well, Yes. But my post ain't about it but it is food for thought. Here is a short update on my what have I been up to.. Went to Church Camp. Well, something happened in the camp. Don't know what to say, but someone within me was awaken, this self that has in a subtle way been not very evident. I was becoming really hungry for teachings/ sharing / discussion that will challenge my mind. Crazy? Maybe. But the camp was good. Note how I was experiencing intensive memory flashbacks, and thinking of stuff. Well, the only thing I will take away from the camp is the messages of the Kingdom of God, and encouragement of how Rev Ng on how he is radical. Isn't that what we want too be? Radical? I really respect Rev Timothy and Rev Ng. People rarely hear me respecting people, but I respect them man. Honestly, the message challenged me a lot, despite the fact that I have n...

Did not know it would be this hard to swallow a pill. Well, its feel horrible! Literally horrible. This holiday, I have come to realize how weak I am. Not physically, but mentally. It weird because my coaches have always said that I am one of the mentally strongest in the soccer team. Not only in JJ, but also during my spell at Hong Kah. I have come to the realization that I give up easily. You will think I am joking, because if you seen my competitive self. Congrats, you have seen and I am going to be a fighter. However, I don't know what has happened to me recently. The absence of soccer has lead to a change? I doubt the validity of that reason. The main idea is that I am beginning to give up! For once, I am giving up. Yet, it hurts to lose. I don't think I am a gracious loser, perhaps I will be forced to learn it one day. Very temperamental these few days too!! Caused by an upset/ heartbroken soul?? I am sadden because the situation looks bleak, hopeless and heart-...

Got no Title for this. Well, been thinking so much. Thoughts keep flying away. I just seat in the back seat and watch everything unfold. After Bynes asked me about soccer, I just feel like blogging on it. When people asked me out of the blue, "do you still play soccer?" I tell them no. Then they keep probing, "not even for leisure?" Some ask do you even watch soccer now? To all those questions the answer is no. Unbelievable but true. I have changed. Don't feel like watching, don't feel like touch the ball. But this is even crazier, I don't even bother reading up soccer news, ain't interested in being constantly updated because it wouldn't make a difference. Its weird, my soccer friends couldn't believe it. I didn't touch a ball for about 2 months already, except for the testimonial match and the step down for the J2s. I believe some others can't believe it too now that they have heard or read it. Perhaps some of you are do...