Boredom Madness

When familiarity is found away from what I call home... Every time I'm stuck in camp doing stuff that does not seem to have a purpose at all, but I do so just because I yearn to book out.. Because when I book out, I'm going home. Yet home has become a distant unfamiliar place. Every time I wanna book out because I wanna spend time with people that perhaps matter to me whether large or small, whether I know or don't, whether I admit or not but I can never hit the ground running. I'm lost... Although, I'm only a few miles away from 'home'... Its an unfamiliar place. With all the constrain put upon me by army, I lack the capacity I once possessed. Its saddens me, no book out is perfect but I have yet to fully enjoy a book out. Its like there is no difference between being confined and booking out now.. Its just feels that way. If I'm confined, I'm stuck in Tekong, alone in my bunk with nothing to do for 9 hours while if I book out, people are eith...

Well.. People tell me, people say that I have a very strong sense of perseverance, and my fighting spirit is strong... But as I think about it now, I beg to differ.. I find myself giving up way too easily, its like I'm a weakling... Temper, oh temper... Will you ever not get agitated in the army so I don't end up in more shit (sorry for a lack of better word) than I tend to get myself in? Will you let things go and pretend nothing happened? Hm... So I nearly got myself into confinement this weekend. Whats new? I did feel unjust about the punishment of my actions that could not be helped due the circumstances forced upon me.. To realize that my ego is really getting hold of me is proven when I had planned to go confront my sergeant abt the punishment for what is deem my fault hence my crime.. I gathered a few of my bunkmates and we were going to confront him after all the activities of the day.. Thankfully my officer decided that the severity of the crime was not the wor...