Boredom Madness

A'LEVELS ARE COMING SOON!! Alright, its not exactly tomorrow. But its 100 days more!! Haizz.. Its so close!! Getting really stressed about it!! And my results for CT2 were bad by my standards.. So far from those As and Bs.. Well.. Hope to do well, and really need to start focusing and concentrating on As.. However, I am distracted.. :/

Yawns.. I am 18 already.. Well, before I start, just wanna thank my friends for making an effort to celebrate my bday. Its better than last year when I had no celebration at all.. But, nah, not point bringing up the past. Honestly, I am in no mood to celebrate my birthday. How can my soul celebrate what is suppose to be a joyous occasion when it is downcast? Nope, I refuse to wear a mask no more.. Can't bring myself to smile.. But still, Happy birthday to me! Welcome to the world of cigarettes, clubbing, and alcohol... I won't get wasted, its ain't me.. So no fear, being 18 still makes no different. I don't not believe that age is a limiting factor!!  Hm.. Yet, that won't stop me from making a birthday wish.

Recently, D.I was given the honour to run the sunday service!! I wasn't part of it though. Thought I could just sit back and be part of the congregation.. Then on the night before (or early sunday morning), I received an sms asking if I would share a testimony about the youth. Agreed to it.. Shared, hiccuped along the way but it made people laugh.. Oh well.. But that said, I was still "slacking" but 1 July was still slightly different. Here is the cool part. When I was playing back all my life events as I was "preparing", I was wondering why did God put me in such an environment. I have seen so many things that many kids don't get to see in their childhood. I would like to say, it was hard growing up in such an environment. It did taught how to adapt and blend in easily, and it shaped me to very pragmatic. Then after service, a few adults approached me, telling me how encouraged they were by my testimony and how they believe God has a plan for me.. At that...

Would update my blog on Youth Service on 1st July soon.. In the meantime, a song by the 'brothers'...

Haizz.. Honestly, I think I have lost.. It hurts... I have always hated losing. I was never a good loser, and seldom a gracious one. I am still learning to be one, but sometimes you just want to win and can't accept defeat. My brain has been working on what went wrong. What was the problem?? What did I do wrong? I question, I ponder, I wonder... I hate visiting my drawing board because that the board that revisit the past, revises the strategy used and tells me, "here you go, try again." But what if there is no second chance now. As it seems, that isn't I lost a battle that I put so much effort, and time, and even money into. It was a long battle, and that makes defeat all the more worse. If you are wondering what am I talking about, and wish to find out..... Don't bother, I almost never share the matters deep down in my heart. I refuse to open up to a world that is full of change. This world has disillusion me. This world is screwed up. Nothing much has c...